March 10, 2016
Center for Victims gathered Thursday, March 10th at LeMont restaurant for its 11th Annual “Peace It Together” Awards ceremony to honor men and women whose determination, dedication and love have benefited our communities and victims of abuse and violent crime.
Hosted by Center for Victims President and CEO Laurie MacDonald and emceed by Beth Bershok from Herbein + Company, the event provided an opportunity to recognize the contributions and fortitude of seven special individuals and two standout organizations. Respect was also paid to the lives lost following the multiple homicide Wednesday night in Wilkinsburg with a moment of silence and several mentions from the evening’s speakers and honorees.
The 2016 “Peace It Together” awards were as follows:
· Freedom from Silence: Freddye Stover
· Individual: Michelle Hammons
· Community Partner: Bob Regis
· Business: Empire Beauty School
· Allied Partner: Ellen Eyth
· MEN Challenge: Calvin Murphy
· MEN Challenge: Darelle Porter
· Movers & Shakers: Meathead Movers
· Lifetime Achievement: Lynn Shiner
· Distinguished Guest Speaker: Victor Rivas Rivers
Click here to read their full profiles.
· Freedom from Silence: Freddye Stover
For Freddye Stover, a registered nurse of over 28 years and an acclaimed blues singer, turning her heartache into energy to assist others seems natural from a professional caregiver, but the amount of adversity she has overcome in her lifetime would stagger anyone. Freddye’s work with a collection of charities including Autism Housing of Pittsburgh, homeless veterans, the Relay for Life, Pittsburgh’s food bank drive and Leechburg’s annual pink day for Breast Cancer Research. Her story is one of rare resilience:
“I come from domestic violence. I’ve been beaten. Too scared to go to the hospital, too afraid to tell anybody else. And I finally had the courage of going through it, I left. Packed up the kids and I was gone. My second encounter was when my oldest son was shot twice. And I thought I was going to lose him. But today, he’s a paraplegic, he’s dealing with it. He’s great at it, he’s a great dad. He has his own little family. The next time I dealt with violence my nephew was murdered, execution-style, last year, shot in the back of the head. That took a toll. My mom had died in April [2015]. My nephew died in July. And I said to this day that [her nephew] was [her mom’s] heart and had she been alive when that happened, it would have just devastated her, probably would have killed her. And then once again, a 14-year-old that lived in the same place as my nephew lived was gunned down. And then hearing what happened last night [in Wilkinsburg], it broke my heart. I felt bad, I didn’t know what to do. I said a prayer for that family, those friends.
“And I say all these things not to have anybody feel sorry for me, but it takes a lot of strength to go through. If you have not lived it, you have no idea the toll that it takes on you and the prayers that you have to keep on. And the biggest question is ‘Why?’ It’s always ‘Why?’ It’s never ‘Who?’ It’s never ‘What?’ It’s always ‘Why?’ And I’m always very, very grateful to extend my hand to help, to talk, to listen, because that’s what I do. I’m a human being, I’m a nurturer, I do that and I’m very honored to be here with all of you. And to listen and to share stories, share song, whatever we have to do and all that I ask of everyone, of our community of our society is please, if you can help in any way, if you can just listen, if you can give a piece of clothing, if you can give one dollar, if you can drag somebody to church one day, if you can just take them down to the park, and you know that they are a victim of something, please extend a hand. Please help them.”
· Individual: Michelle Hammons
Michelle Hammons is better known by her online handle, Burgh Baby and she uses her blog and web presence to speak to her tens of thousands followers about parenting topics, news and experiences and she uses her multiple online platforms to spread awareness to the Center for Victims causes and fundraising pushes.
“Domestic violence flies under the radar,” Michelle said. “So [my blog] brought it to the top of the radar and it is absolutely amazing what The People Who Live in My Computer are so generous and so amazing. … A lot of the people that give to [the causes] are an IP address, the just live in my computer, I don’t know their names. They just give because they found out about a story that they wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the Internet.”
· Community Partner: Bob Regis
The struggle with bipolar affective disorder is a personal one for Bob Regis because he himself has battled it for over 30 years. Bob’s resume is remarkable – educated at Carnegie Mellon University and Northwestern University, employed by IBM, Procter & Gamble, Merrill Lynch, Federated Investors and, for the past 18 years, the CPA owner and operator of The Regis Group Inc. – but it is his advocacy for those with mental illness that allow him to empower and empathize with those who share his struggle.
Bob asked the attendees to raise their hands if they knew a friend or family member who suffered from a mental illness. With almost everyone in the room with a hand in the air, Bob asked: “If that many people are affected by mental illness, why should there be a stigma for having a mental illness?”
As co-founder of The 10:08 Club, LLC, with Shari Richards, Bob has helped Center for Victims and other organizations in their missions through concerts that help raise funds and awareness to combat bipolar, anxiety, suicide awareness and, with an assist from Center for Victims, post-traumatic stress disorder, all with the goal of “eradicate[ing] the stigma of mental illness.”
· Business: Empire Beauty School
West Mifflin’s Empire Beauty School is devoted to the causes of Center for Victims, providing immediate assistance to those in need by collecting non-perishable food stuffs, personal care items and toys, while also raising money throughout the year that culminates with a donation to the Center for Victims in October during its National Day of Beauty. Executive Director of Empire Beauty School Christopher Lund beamed with pride when discussing the dedication of his team.
“This was absolutely unexpected and this is not about me,” Christopher said. “This is about my entire team, my entire company. On behalf of Empire Education Group, Empire Beauty School in West Mifflin, my entire staff, all of my students that come together and give when they don’t even have something to give. Throughout the year we give cash donations collections, we do toy drives around the holiday season, we actually have clients come in for services at the school. Pretty much anything we can do to give back to the community and I just want to thank my entire school for everything that they do for such a good cause. Because this is something that is absolutely necessary.
“As a school director, I see the effects of domestic violence in my students, in the people who come into our school for services and without an organization like this, they would have nowhere to turn when they have that absolute need. So I just want to say thank you very much.”
· Allied Partner: Ellen Eyth
As a South Allegheny middle and high school teacher, Ellen Eyth sees our area’s youngsters begin the transition from children to young adults and fosters positive growth as a co-sponsor of Expect Respect, a student-led high school group that focuses on healthy relationships and communication to prevent teen dating violence and domestic abuse.
Ellen said: “I’m relatively new to teaching young adults. Believe it or not, most of my adult life I have spent working in a bar/restaurant, hustling in continuous circles to save money to go back to school and to get a job that would allow me and my sons to get out of an abusive relationship. So I’m not sure if Expect Respect fell into my lap or I fell into its lap, I’m not sure how it worked exactly… All I can tell you is that it’s where I belong.
“My passion and my dedication comes from personal experience. I know the signs and I’ve lived them. And if I can keep one of our students from living it then that’s a success. The statistics are true. People in those relationships don’t tell the whole story. They tell a friend, maybe a guidance counselor, maybe a trusted teacher, maybe a friend. We as educators can now provide that kind of support with our partnership with Center for Victims. I’m confident that we are now sending young adults into their adult lives knowing what a healthy relationship looks like. That’s why I do what I do, because I don’t want one more girl, working at Applebee’s with two little boys, waiting to get out.”
· MEN Challenge: Calvin Murphy
Calvin Murphy, or as most call him “Coach Cal,” would rather do his work out of the limelight. As a juvenile case manager with the Vision Quest Day Evening Program and a prominent member of Pittsburgh Hilltop’s “Voices Against Violence” and “Youth Project” Pittsburgh, it’s obvious that Coach Cal does not seek publicity for his work with area youth and he certainly does not do it for the awards. But spending the evening with other individuals who share his passion and commitment clearly had an effect on Coach Cal.
“I started to realize that I’m not the only person in this fight,” Coach Cal said. “That’s how I feel sometimes. [Sitting at his table], I started to get some ideas in my head, things I can do a lot better and work harder at… you’ve given me more energy by sitting in my seat than I’ve had in a long time… [the award] is a true honor.”
For Coach Cal, giving young people new experiences and hope is a large part of changing their futures. That includes taking a boy from Beltzhoover to the Carnegie museums for the first time after the child learned how close Pitt was to his neighborhood. Or taking a kid from Carnegie to see the homes in Nevillewood, where he was in awe of the size of the houses. Or to drive children to the beach to feel sand between their toes for the first time.
“We want to show this is real,” Coach Cal said. “It’s not just in a book and that’s one of the problems we’re having right now: They’re not connecting real life with the world. If you look at a wall every day, you start to believe that’s your life and you stop thinking there’s anything outside of what you want immediately and you start using a gun and risking your life for things.”
· MEN Challenge: Darelle Porter
A Pittsburgh amateur sports superstar, Darelle Porter is well known to Pitt and Duquesne fans. A legendary high school basketball and football player for Perry Traditional Academy, Darelle went on to excel at the University of Pittsburgh as a four-year starter at guard and then to Duquesne University as its men’s head basketball coach. Darelle is now Executive Director of Ozanam, a western Pennsylvania nonprofit organization that provides underprivileged children with after-school athletic programs, SAT prep classes, fitness programs and meal services.
“One of my goals is to try to mentor the next me,” Darelle said. “Who’s going to work with the next generation? Who’s going to be that person? Hopefully, when I show them this award… I will be getting some interest from those kids and they’ll be one of the next persons to help kids make it out of the Hill [District].”
· Movers & Shakers: Meathead Movers
For people who are suffering in an abusive domestic environment, actually physically leaving the home can be the most difficult stage of the process. For the Steed brothers of California, they saw a way to help. Aaron and Evan Steed began a moving company as high schoolers. That company would become Meathead Movers, a business that employs student-athletes in a workplace that encourages education and connection to the community. As part of their business, the Steeds work with local women’s shelters and assist victims of domestic violence with free moving services to help extricate them from dangerous environments and hostile homes.
“I’d be the guy who would pick up the phone and you could hear the terror and the trembling in their voices,” Aaron said. “Stories like ‘My boyfriend or husband is coming home on Wednesday. Can you come by and help me out? I don’t have any money but I’ll give you a TV and a couch. Would that work?’ We would do the moving and of course we would not accept anything and it was really the first time we had the opportunity to feel like we were doing something helpful and at the end of the job, just the hugs… it was addicting to do something that you knew you were potentially helping save a life.” (Read the L.A. Times story on Meathead Movers here.)
· Lifetime Achievement: Lynn Shiner
Some violent events are so unspeakable that any thought of recovering and rehabilitating seems unimaginable. As part of a custody agreement with her ex-husband, Lynn Shiner took her two young children, Jen and Dave, to his home on Christmas Eve in 1994. Her ex-husband would later kill both children before killing himself. As Lynn wrote in a 2014 op-ed for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, “My violent, abusive ex-husband had taken his ultimate act of revenge.”
Somehow, Lynn summoned the strength to transform her tragedy into a life and career of helping others. She has spent the last 19 years working on a policy level for the Pennsylvania Commission on Crime and Delinquency as the director of the Office of Victims’ Services, helping distribute funding to meet the needs of crime victims throughout the state. (Read her entire bio here.) Recently retired after 37 years working with the state, illness kept her from the event, but she did send a letter expressing her gratitude for the honor.
“This lifetime achievement award is much bigger than me. What I know with certainty, I wouldn’t be here today without programs like Center for Victims.
“Throughout my journey I have often been asked about closure and healing. In my opinion, there is no such thing as closure, nor does time heal. What time will do is to allow you to cope with the tragedy and find a way to weave it into your new life. Healing for us means that the crime and trauma no longer consume or control our lives. That is what programs like Center for Victims can do for victims: building a foundation for hope, healing and resiliency. Priceless.”
· Distinguished Guest Speaker: Victor Rivas Rivers
The evening closed with a special appearance from author, actor and advocate Victor Rivas Rivers, who shared his personal story of struggle and ultimate success. Presented by HopeLine from Verizon, Victor recounted the many obstacles he and his family overcame to survive their abusive, domineering father.
“I know all of you have heard this beautiful African saying, that ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ If you ever thought it was a little quaint or unrealistic or overused, well I stand in front of you to say I am that child who was raised and rescued by his village and in fact I can honestly say that I would not be standing here in front of you without the love and guidance of those in my community who like all of you were angels and advocates in one form or another.”
Read Victor’s full bio here with information about his book, “A Private Family Matter: A Memoir” and watch a clip of his speech during the Congressional committee hearing held to address the reauthorization of the Violence against Women Act.
Written By: Christian Pelusi
